My Introduction to Self Care

Click photo to enlarge. Credit: click here

In my 20's I liked to think of words that described me as a person and posted them in the "About Me" sections of websites (blogs/social media) I liked to visit. It made me feel accomplished, lol. Words like: Student, Sociologist, Dancer, Pisces, you get the idea. However, once I got into my 30's I started to unconsciously come up with a different list, one that really bothered me, a list of things that I was not: Unmarried, Unattached, Childless, you get the idea. I felt like I was not only moving at a slower pace and wasting my time dating the wrong guys for me but it felt weird when I realized everyone close to me were moving on to the next stages of life. Truth be told, they were things I had been dying to experience for years. In short, I felt like I was grasping at straws trying to feel like I was achieving something and all I got a hold of were feelings of being left behind and it can be kind of painful at times.

So many of my Friday nights are not spent going out on dates. I could not get a date to save my life and I do not go clubbing because 1) I don't drink and 2) I'm in my 30's and do not want to hang out with young kids, our lives are so different. No, my Friday nights are spent in my king sized bed with my Smartphone in one hand and the remote control in the other hand selecting "continue" when Netflix asks if I am still watching. Uh, yeah I'm still watching, duh. You should know me by now Netflix, lol. Okay, so you know how I said many of my Friday nights are spent like this? I was lying. It is not just Friday's that I do this, it is every single night. To be honest with you the only real good thing I have going for myself is working out and going to church. Those are the choices I make consistently. Yes, I have a job (it is on my gratitude list) and I have my other responsibilities but those are things I have to do. Does that make sense?

Anyway.

One night, like every night, I was on Instagram and was looking at the hashtag #positivity and #quotes hoping something inspiring would come into my life because I needed a pick me up. I came across a pretty aerial point of view picture of a girl holding a cup of tea. For the life of me I cannot remember what quote was on the picture but I just loved the colors, the decor, and the pretty font, lol. The caption read something along the lines of how this lady was trying to make time for more "self dates" and I was floored. There is a thing called "self dates?" Like, I can take myself out? Wait! Do I have to leave the house or can I just stay home? What is this? 

Credit: click here

So I searched the hashtag #selfdates and ended up coming across a new hashtag #selfcare. It was like a whole new world! I stumbled upon new ways of spending time with myself that was not only fun but allowed me to unplug and it was beneficial to my health. Sign me up!

You may be wondering, or you may already know, what the heck is self-care? As I have done more research I realized self-care is something that I was already doing off and on because they were ideas I would get from my mom or saw her doing. Who knew, Ma?! You really are a know it all! Teasing, I love you a la Fresh Prince style! So if you do not know what self-care is. I recommend you check out her post on "What is Self-Care? (Self Care 101) by clicking [HERE] if you want to learn more. I love the explanation that Alisha Leytem gives on her website,

In a nutshell, self-care is participating in anything that is nourishing, supportive, inspiring and personally fulfilling.  

The catch here- there’s always a catch!- is that this isn’t something that just comes naturally.  It’s a learned behavior.  You have to intentionally practice self-care in order for it to happen. 

One of my favorite self-care/self-dates I enjoy are my sunrise walks along the ocean with a cup of warm honey lemon water. I began doing that as a new years resolution in 2015 and it has been a great way to start my day. What better medicine than being by the sea? Also, warm honey lemon water is extremely healthy for you but that will be another blog post. I go to the sea when I feel happy, troubled, bored, etc. I should turn to it more often instead of food. Sadly, food wins due to proximity, lol. I like the quiet streets, people are still asleep or busy getting ready for work; there is a magic to all that stillness. The sunrise is so gorgeous as it comes up over Monterey and crashing waves is one of my favorite sounds. I also get to log in some miles on my Nike+ app (I am competitive with myself to log in miles every month) and my playlists are calm and relaxing. I will be sure to put together and share playlists that represent my different self-care moods. What songs would go great as a soundtrack to these photos of the ocean? I love how people interrupt that differently, let me know in the comment section below.

When I created this blog I wanted to share my self-care techniques. Oh, that sounds so fancy, lol. One thing is for sure, everybody is different therefore different things appeal to different people. The way I self-care might not interest you at all. My goal is to try to share different kind of self-care techniques that will hopefully be beneficial to all of us. Heck, maybe once a month I will give something a try that may not be my cup of tea and share how it went for me. There is nothing wrong with trying new things out and it may turn out to be hilarious, lol.

Click photo to enlarge.

At the end of the day, I pray that something speaks to you. I pray that I may share something funny, inspiring, gritty, sad, pretty, or ugly to remind you that you are not alone. So stay tuned for quotes, charts/worksheets, photographs, videos, on this subject. I am actually really looking forward to sharing this with you. Please comment on what works best for you or what you would like to see.

Here is a little something-something to get you started. Figure out how balanced or unbalanced you are. Maybe schedule some time to go through the wheel and pick one to work on this week. You can thank me later.

Project: Dia De Los Muertos/Halloween Party

As my ancestors and immediate family come from Mexico, out of respect, I have to put this out there: Dia De Los Muertos is not and should not be confused with Halloween. It is culturally different and has a lot of meaning and symbolism. I encourage you to do a Google search on it and not be turned/put off by any of the artwork or the name itself. There, I did my part in educating. 

As I mentioned before DDLM is not Halloween so naturally I had some reservations mixing it with our Halloween party but I just wanted to share this event with family and friends and put together a nice altar of our lost loved ones. Some friends did not know much about altars and different aspects of it so it felt nice being able to explain it to them.

According to my Pinterest Board for my DDLM altar/party, I have been planning this party for almost 8 months. In fact, for many weeks during the spring and early summer I was buying patio lights from Target whenever they went on sale to give the backyard some much needed lighting and ambiance. My closet was literally overflowing with lights, decorations, party supplies, etc. I'm happy to finally have my closet back!

I have some really amazing family members that are super talented when it comes to arts and crafts and they were gracious enough to lend me some help and made my vision complete. My cousin made pom tissue flowers for my altar and another friend painted the face of the doll, that is included in Wilton's Wonder Mold Doll Pan, and used La Muerte's face as her example which was perfect because we watched The Book of Life in the backyard at the end of our party. Perfection!

My brother works so hard and I personally think he is the right hand man to the owner of the construction company he works for. He comes home so beat and yet he still put up my lights despite being completely fried and everybody absolutely loved it, me included. It was the final touch and was a cozy canopy when the sun finally set. Thanks bro!

We had a wonderful Mexican dinner catered by D'la Colmena and I made Aqua de Fresa and something I call "Mansion Juice." Read: I made this passion iced tea mixed with lemonade for the first time one summer when I house-sat at this gorgeous mansion. Hence the name. It was literally my dream home. I miss it so much. Anyway back to the topic at hand. I also made a spiced (boxed) cake with whipped cream cheese frosting from scratch. My cousin took a couple of bites and asked, "Is this from The Buttery?" which was a total compliment! Its one of those stores in town that sell scrumptious cakes and other desserts. Thanks cuz!

My family helped out so much, I couldn't have done it without them and they put up with my moods so graciously. I need to learn how to work faster or do work ahead of time because I always leave it to the last minute and then stress out going in hyper speed, whoops. Sorry fam bam!

After dinner we played some games: Pie Face and Pin the Tail on the Donkey and had two pinatas for the kids to beat. We all loved Pie Face that we ran out of time and did not get to the pumpkin carving or the other games I had planned. It was time for our backyard movie night and it was so fun to see a raise of hands when we asked who hadn't watched it before. Almost 1/3 of our friends hadn't and they really enjoyed it. "What is it with Mexicans and death?" was a quote that made us all belly laugh.

My costume was going to be La Calavera Catrina, to go with the theme, but I totally ran out of time. I had her headpiece on, halloween colors in my clothes, and a colorful apron that did not even match yet people started calling me Frida Kahlo. I went with the flow, added a unibrow and viola! Frida I became. This is my second time going as Frida and I love it.

The night was a success. Practically everybody dressed up and I really appreciated it. I loved and appreciated every bodies participation and contributions. This is kind of our official last party until the weather gets warmer (not that it is getting cold just yet but we are anticipating El Nino this year). I am going to miss seeing my family and friends gathered in my backyard. BUT! I am already planning more parties: My best friends birthday party, Christmas, Fat Tuesday, etc.

Uh oh, did I just lose more closet space?